Dem bones, dem bones, dem pug bones
How a small, elderly pug became shorthand for wellness and why that sort of irks me.
Okay, so here’s the thing. Maybe I’ve been avoiding writing about the no-bones pug. It has very much been covered to death in media so I was feeling a little meh. But then while talking to some not chronically online pals, they had no idea what the boneless pug I was talking about was. And then I did some more ~pondering~, and here we are. Let’s do it.
Meet Noodle
Noodle is a very viral 13-year-old pug who may or may not have bones on any given day.
The elderly pup is owned by Jonathan Graziano, who started posting daily TikToks testing whether or not Noodle has bones. As in, he sits the dog up in his fluffy bed and sees if he topples over or not. Topple=no bones. Sits=bones.
Honestly, it’s all very cute. Noodle, being an old fella, will simply flop over if that’s what he feels like doing.
Noodles is an oracle. He tells us what kind of day we’re going to have.
A bones day, when he sits, is an active sort of day. Try hard at work, file your taxes, go for a run.
But on a no bones day, we are welcome to stay in bed, ignore the laundry, and simply exist.
It’s pretty simple, pretty adorable, and a convenient shorthand for a given mood. We’ve all had no bones day. You get it!
Graziano has amassed 3.9 million followers on TikTok with this routine, and fair enough. Even without the prophecy angle, I’m a sucker for an old, sleepy dog who doesn’t want to bother with your shit. I find myself hoping for a no bones day so he does the little plop.
As far as I can tell, Noodles’ bones situation grew pretty organically on TikTok and at this point, he’s all over the news.
Here he is on:
Noodle was even on the Today Show, which is typically where memes go to die.
To be very clear, I don’t begrudge Graziano for leaning into his internet fame. It’s just kinda what you do, ya know? If I had a famous pet you know I’d be milking it for all its worth.
As the NYT wrote, “millions of people across the internet are using Mr. Graziano’s TikTok videos as a daily horoscope of sorts to see what kind of day they will have. Think of Noodle as a four-legged mood ring.”
Noodle seems like a good, pure thing.
Or is it.
No, it is, mostly.
It’s just a pug, people.
Ol’ Noodle has become shorthand for mental health and, in essence, wellness. I have some feelings about that, but let’s review some memes first.
The memening
As is true with anything good on TikTok, the magic isn’t just in the original viral moment, but in how it’s remixed and reimagined by the masses.
Noodle has inspired songs, art, and funny emails from professors.
Noodle has given people permission to also not have bones.
This teacher made a sign for her students.
Here’s a sea shanty.
Here’s some crafty earrings.
Noodle is essentially the same as a weather forecast.
Bones or no bones can be used to explain your day.
Even small business TikTok is on it.
Zoom, like the whole ass app, did a bit.
Goddamn Scrub Daddy, the sponge people, made a TikTok about bones/no bones days.
All this to say, the bones have leaked all over the clock app.
Let’s dive deeper
Noodle reminds me of a time when I was disassociating. I have bipolar type II, which is characterized by low lows and mild highs, which, while interruptive, aren’t as severe as in people with type I. In between those ups and downs, it’s common to have mixed states where you’re sad but also have energy — a really, truly awful time.
One of those times, I remember writing in a journal that it felt like I had no bones. Which is hard to explain. I wasn’t flopping around or anything. I literally knew I had bones. I just felt deeply empty and unpresent. Like my body lacked structure, like nothing was holding it up.
This is a decidely unsexy side of mental health. Through ~awareness~, especially on social media like TikTok, there’s been a lot of great conversations about mental illnesss, but only within certain bounds. We can talk about mental health as long as it’s not too serious, not too scary. I remember a very good TikTok that I wish I could find right now that talks about how we’re okay acknowledging depression as long as we don’t talk about the actual consequences of depression. The messy bits.
Without getting exhaustive on the topic, this very much ties back to the wellness movement that distills mental health to something that can be cured with a bubble bath and a smoothie. Goop shit. You know what I’m talking about.
It applies a varnish of consumption that puts something purchasable in the middle of well and not well. It turns what can be complex, painful, and difficult into something easier to swallow.
Noodle does that too. And look, I’m not gatekeeping mental illness. I’m not saying I, personally, transcend Noodle’s worth because I’m a particular type of ill.
I suppose it just irks me when the very tangled things that keep us down are smoothed down into something more palatable. Bones or no bones is cute, but lacks the nuance of why we’re all so hurt, whether due to an illness, this fucking pandemic, systemic inequality, burnout, multiple financial disasters, etc.
But hey, it’s also not that deep! Sometimes, in fact most of the time, it’s way easier to say it’s a no bones day than actually grapple with what’s keeping us down.
And look, I listened to Phoebe Bridgers a lot today. Maybe I’m just in a mood. A no bones mood. I also certainly don’t think Graziano was trying to do anything grand. He’s just a guy with an old pug and a TikTok account.
Please don’t mistake this for a hot take. If talking about bones makes your day easier, that’s truly a wonderful thing.
Just, all that to say, I wish we were better about getting into the mud of things. That we could speak more honestly and openly about why no one has bones these days.
It just feels like we’re dancing around something while never speaking its name.
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